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What the actual fuck?!? Have space aliens kidnapped David Brooks and replaced his dumb ass with a replicant? Did a misprogrammed ChatGPT write David Brooks' column?

Did a near death experience cause David Brooks to face St. Peter and did the Keeper Of The Keys To The Kingdom Of Heaven not let David buck the line because. well, he is just ever so special?

Did he, like, talk to an actual working class person not his maid or the waitstaff at his favorite restaurant and these people were not grateful to David and folks like him for letting them serve?

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Ahhh. I forgot about that gourmet sandwich shop column. Kicking myself right now. Well played.

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Truth be told, so did I.

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